5x20 - "The Girl in Question"
Angel: Fine, we'll send Spike.
:::cut to Spike playing gameboy::::
Spike: Bugger that...do it yourself.
Spike: Alright what is it this time? Ubervamps? Demon gods? Devil robots?
::::Angel shows concern::
Angel: It's Buffy.
Spike: Look we get the Capo's body, we rescue Buffy, and we stop the Immortal. It's that simple....unless he kills you. Which would be sad.
Angel: He's not going to kill me.
Spike: If I come with you.
Spike: I just want to see you happy....well not too happy...cause then I'd have to stake you......On second thought, have at it.
Andrew: What are you doing here?
Angel: About to ask you the same question Andrew.
Andrew: Buffy and Dawn are letting me crash, my casa was incinerated when that 'thing' happened.
Spike: What thing?
Andrew: Cultural misunderstanding...let us speak of more pleasant times..heh.
Andrew: Right because you two both..........::pauses::: yeaaaa she's not here.
Angel: Where'd she go?
Andrew: To meet the Immortal.
Spike: By herself?
Andrew: I told you I had plans.
Angel: When did she leave?
Andrew: Just missed her.
Spike: (to Angel) We're not too late.
Angel: Could be worse.
Andrew: You're tellin me...most nights they never leave the house....they just curl up on the couch and snuggle.
::Angel and Spike go silent::::
Andrew: For starters...wait you didn't know they were....'together'?
Spike: ::looks at Angel:: It's worse.
:::Angelus kisses Darla:::
Angelus: He tasted you.
Angelus: Who do you think?
Spike: Oh...that cheeky bastard...had us tossed and then violates your woman.
Angelus: He hurt you?
Darla: Not until I asked him to. ::smiles:: oh come on have you seen him? With the eyes...the chest...the immortality..
Spike: We're immortal!!
Darla: Oh darling...it was just fornication...really good fornication...
Spike: She's glowing mate.
Angelus: She isn't
Darla: Little bit.
Drusilla: Time for another pony ride?
Spike: :::looks at Dru::: SON OF A BITCH!!!!!
Angelus: The both of you?
Darla: He's insatiable.
Spike: Drusilla, you let him touch you?
Drusilla: He felt like sunshine
Angelus: That's why we he had us tossed...so he could violate...
Darla: He didn't
Anglus: Violate our women!
Spike: VIOLATE! IN SUCCESSION!!
Angelus: Concurrently? You never let us do that.
Darla: Come on Dru, let's have a bath so the boys can weep in private.
Drusilla: Will you hold me under the water?
Darla: If you wish...::both laugh::
Angelus: He mocks us at every turn.
Spike: The man has no sense of indecency. Remember Frankfurt? He decides to give those nuns safe passage.
Angelus: Those were my NUNS!
Spike: Yea...nuns are your thing..everybody knows that...they respect it. Respect us.
Spike: The Immortal...UGH
Angel: I mean come on....
Spike: She's smarter than that.
Angel: She would never fall for a centuries old guy with a dark past who may or may not be evil.
::Spike glances at Angel...both pause::
Spike: She's under some kind of spell!
Angel: I was just gonna say that.
Spike: Hold down the fort. I'll be right back.
Angel: Oh yeah..here it comes, the part where you run off alone and play the big hero, so Buffy will take you back. Well newsflash blondie bear, never gonna happen.
Spike: Look I know I dont have a shot with her alright...probably never did, but I still care about her and I'm not going to let her end up with a jerk like the Immortal............or you.
Angel: Ours is a forever love!
Spike: Oh please. I had a relationship with her too
Angel: Sleeping together isn't a relationship.
Spike: It is if you do it enough times.
:::Spike motions for Angel to ride on the back of the Moped:::
Spike: Hop on little momma!
Angel: I helped save the world you know.
Spike: So haven't I.
Angel: Yea, but I've done it a lot more.
Spike: Oh, please.
Angel: I closed a hellmouth.
Spike: I've done that.
Angel: Yea, ...you wore a necklace....I helped kill the Mayor.....Jasmine and ...
Spike: Do those really count as saving the world?
Angel: I stopped Acathala, that saved the world.
Spike: Buffy. Ran. You. Through. WITH A SWORD!
Angel: Shyea..but I made her do it...
:::Spike looks strangely at Angel:::
Angel: I signaled her with my eyes.
Spike: She killed you. I helped her...that one counts as mine.
Andrew: She's happy. That's it.
Angel: But she's not finished baking yet. I gotta wait till shes done baking and she finds herself. That's fine. That's the drill....Im' waiting patiently and meanwhile the Immortal is eating cookie dough!!!!!
((if anyone gets that reference 2pts to them))
Andrew: Uh...Spike. Is Angel Crying?
Spike: No..............not yet.